Today we are going home to NC to see my sweet Momma and my sweetly grouchy Daddy! As a child, cause I still feel pretty young, I've never wanted to even imagine my parents aging and going on. My Mom's battle with breast cancer is different this time then her battle seven years ago. This time it seems it may be a life long battle instead of a bump in the road that she can conquer, wear pink at races and carry balloons- one for each year of survival. She is a survivor and a fighter but her fight does not seem as fierce this time. My Mom has no worries she knows she stands right before the Lord and will have triumph either here or in heaven. Selfishly I want the triumph to be now and I want her to feel like she did when she was in her forties! My age! Oh what fun we'd have! She is my Mom and my best friend! She's who I call with the great news and the heart breaks of my life. She's who I call for advisements and even for the simple things, like how to bake a pecan pie. I am so thankful for my Mom and thankful for the time. Thankful my daughter gets to go this weekend and be with her Grandmother. Be there when Grammie is feeling not so good but not so bad either.

Writing again

Just thought I'd start writing some again.....where to start? How about today.

I am constantly amazed with how blessed I am to be the Momma to such amazingly spectacular children! Your love of life, your thoughtfulness moves me everyday.

Today, Sam, when you got off the bus. You were contentiously concerned about a test question. It wasn't on the material we'd studied. The question did not seem fair. You were concerned you'd miss it and concerned I'd care if you missed it. I only was happy you tried. Happy you cared enough to want to do your best. I know you studied! I've been there with you, calling out the questions! I love being "there" with you. I love asking the questions. Helping you trudge through! I am so blessed to be "here"! Here in the day to day menial tasks that it is so easy to wish the time away. It's going so fast ya'll are growing up and I want to savor each second!

Beth: Today we played hopscotch. I drew the squares, you numbered them. I marveled at how much better you can write your numbers now since the last time we played (a year or so ago). My squares were too big so you drew a smaller game board!

During Variety show practice you em-proved so well and Daddy and I caught each other's eye to share a prideful giggle! You are great on stage! You will win the heart of the audience on Friday night!

Josh: My big boy Josh. Last night, Halloween night, the biggest kid night of the year, you lost your phone. You maturely looked all during dinner and up until dark. Instead of indulgently saying, "Oh well, so what" you stayed home from Tricks or Treats. We did not make you stay home. In fact I was thinking, "Oh Josh, it's just a phone, come, don't miss the fun." You maturely hung out at home and helped out with handing out candy and with Beth and her friends. Later we found your phone and you were not sad you'd missed the night you were just thankful to have found the phone! I am proud of you! Last Friday night you went to your first dance. You drank Mountain Dew, several, and danced and laughed with friends!

Today I talked with Grammie and there is 80% chance the chemo did not get rid of her cancer. Even after her surgery there is significant chance that they did not get rid of it all. This news saddens me deep in my heart and soul. Grammie is not sad. She stated the news factually and said we will go on with the surgery and then she will have more chemo, radiation and scans. So if Grammie is not sad how can I be? I have hope. We have hope. And on this hopeful journey I hope to treasure each moment- each moment that I am with the ones I love!

Happy 11th Birthday Josh!

Josh turned eleven February 16th 2011! We kidnapped Josh from school and took him out to eat at Mexico! Josh ate three tacos and fried icecream.

Then we took him to the gun range for some target shooting with a 22 rifle.

That afternoon he said he would always remember his eleventh birthday!